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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  July 28, 2016 9:11am-9:45am PDT

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her out, intending to introduce myself. i got close enough to touch her back, but i couldn't do it. so i watched her. ( laughter ) >> larry: so we know he became president by defeating a bush, and now we know he met hillary by hiding in a bush. very good. did anybody else think that was strange? >> i think the beginning of the speech was a-- a controversial way to start. i've got to say, the top of the speech i found shocking and weird. ( laughter ) >> larry: almost as shocking and weird as still having to co-anchor with brian williams. i would imagine. too soon? too soon about brian williams? what? ( applause ) did i do that? okay. anyway, he took us through his relationship with hillary from the beginning some of her accomplishments we may not have known about, some personal anecdotes, and then he starts to talk about what happened in
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1997, and that's close to '98. oh, my god. i know what happened in 1998! is he going to talk about the-- whaaaaa? >> 1997 was the year chelsea finished high school and went to college. ( cheers and applause ) now fast forward. in 1999... >> larry: no, no, no! no, no, no! fast forward! no, pause, pause, rewind! play back in slo-mo! you should talk about that (bleep), man! was there any more human moment than when you stepped out on your lady and everyone saw it, and we was like "ohhhhh (bleep)!" and you were like, "i know. i know!" okay, obviously he's not going to say that, but rather than saying "fast forward," he could have said, "and then i had one of my worst moments, both as a president and as a husband. and without the strength of my wife standing by my side, against all odds and public opinion, i would never be the
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man i am standing in front of you today." that's a (bleep) applause line! ( cheers and applause ) ( bleep ) applause line. how could he not say that. fast forward. some human (bleep) like that! alright, i'm done. but, anyhow, it was an amazing night for america and a historic one for women. >> my daughters and all of our children are watching. >> tonight, a little girl is watching this moment. >> if there are any little girls out there who stayed up late to watch, let me just say, i may become the first woman president, but one of you is next. >> larry: that's right. it's impossible not to think about the little girls watching at home and what it means to them. and we decided we had to hear from one of them, so for more on this please welcome camila hernandez! ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show, camila.
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so, hillary clinton is the first woman ever to run for president! wow! you must be so excited! >> it's okay. personally, i'm a fiscal moderate, and she's a bit hawkish for my taste. if i'm being honest, hillary's fairly problematic. she comes with all that 90s baggage, plus voting for the iraq war, the disaster that birthed isis! and domestically, black people are still suffering the tragic effects of the crime policies that her husband passed, but she supported. if you read "the new jim crow" by michelle alexander, you know exactly what i'm talking about. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> larry: yeah, i did. but i have to say, i wasn't expecting such a nuanced perspective on-- >> and, look. i don't really go in for these identity politics, but do i respect the historicism of this moment obviously. although, when it comes to israel, she spoke in march at aipac without a single mention of the palestinians! which is a huge blind spot.
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but sure, woo-woo, female president. ( cheers and applause ) anyway, i have to go. my friend is having a my little pony birthday party, and they have a slip 'n slide, so you know, priorities. >> larry: i guess can camila hernandez, everybody. thanks, camilla. we'll be right back. ♪ with this level of intelligence...'s a supercomputer. with this grade of protection... it's a fortress. and with this standard of luxury... it's an oasis. introducing the completely redesigned e-class. it's everything you need it to be... and more. see your authorized dealer for exceptional offers through mercedes-benz financial services. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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( cheers and applause ) >> larry: welcome back. while the glass ceiling may have been shattered last night, hearts are still shattering over michelle obama's speech from monday. >> i wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves. (cheering) and i watch my daughters, two beautiful, intelligent, black young women playing with their dogs on the white house lawn. ( laughter ) >> larry: i'm not crying. i'm just allergic. this speech wasn't just a reflection of her time as first lady. it spoke to how far we've come
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as a nation. but bill o'reilly thought he should make a clarification on a key racial issue. >> michelle obama is essentially correct in citing slaves as builders of the white house, but there were others working as well. slaves that worked there were well fed and had decent lodgings provided by the government. >> your takeaway about slavery is that they were well fed? "thank you, massa o'reilly, for clarifying me about slavery. i appreciate that. oh, you know what, sir? if i could read, i sure would want to read your book about killing lincoln. of course i ain't allowed to read being as i'm a slave and all. sounds to me like he did the wrong thing by freeing them slaves." i don't know what is worse,
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that bill o'reilly white-splained slavery or that people all over the internet needed him to. for more, we turn to nightly show contributor franchesca ramsey with another installment of "hash it out." >> apparently some people are upset that some black people are in the white house and that black people built the white house. of ( applause ) and if only one-third of the workers were slaves, that means the white house was built by slaves. ( cheers and applause ) that means only two-thirds of the workers got to go home at night. that's how fractions work. but maybe you thought paying
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attention to fractions after the three-fifths compromise. but slaves didn't build the white house. carpenterrers did. this is going to blow your mind. some of the slaves were also carpenters. just like bill o'reilly can be a teeny personality and a condescending asshole. ( cheers and applause ) the white house was notability slowly or even primarily by slaves who were paid for work. first of all, is that a dr. evil meme. this meme is old enough to vote. not solely built by slaves? you can please get out of there this with hashtag all jobs matter. you do these mental gymnastics because it's uncomfortable to acknowledge that this partly was
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partly built by slaves. we shall overcome is not a song about how hard it is to play the banjo. and the worst part-- if you hadn't been so caught up on the word "slavery" you would have realized michelle obama was saying something positive. yes, the white house was built by slaves which is why it's such a big deal that we have a black president. if you have a problem with this i'm anything to guess it's only because of who is saying it so let me try to put this in words you can understand. i i wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves. is that better? >> larry: franchesca ramsey, ♪ it's here, but it's going by fast.
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( cheers and applause ) >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. first up, "nightly show" contributor mike yard. (cheers and applause) and "nightly show" contributor robin thede. (cheers and applause) and she's the washington editor for then "national review," eliana johnson. ( cheers and applause ) and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter @nightlyshow using the hashtag #tonightly. so last night the d.n.c. stepped it up bringing out bill clinton, bubba. humanize hillary. speak about her character. kind of reintroduce her to america. take a look. >> in the springs of 1971, i met
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a girl. she had thick, blond hair, big glasses. wore no makeup. >> larry: i loved that he picked that up-- she wore no makeup. was he successful in reintroducing her? >> i think he was trying to communicate that at one point, these two people were attracted to each other. >> yeah. yeah. >> but-- >> yeah. >> he sort of lost me at "when hillary's water broke..." >> i thought there were some cute moments. i liked the really-- when it wasn't about bill's, you know, experience, when it was more about something hillary did, like "when we took chelsea to college and hillary was lining the drawers and wouldn't leave." that was a really cute moment and it showed o.c.d. >> it's hard to introduce somebody who never went anywhere. >> not true. >> that's like jay z trying to
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come after retirement, allow me to reintroduce myself. we know you. you're the same dude. stop it! >> larry: if you're already having trust issues with the american people, is bill clinton the character witness? ( cheers and applause ) i mean, maybe you should have one of the trump kids come out. no, i-- did he seem comfortable to you at all? >> the thing with bill clinton, i think, is that even if you hate him so much, you still sort of like him. and hillary has the opposite problem. it's like she-- even the people she brought up who were supposedly speaking on her behalf, like elizabeth warren and bernie sandsers, like, they sort of hate her. and everybody knows that. and that's really her main problem. the american people have sort of seen these flashes of the authentic hillary over the years
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when she said, "i could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas but i was practicing my profession before my husband was and i'm not this woman standing by my man." these are flashes of the real hillary and people don't like that very much. >> larry: those stick with her for 1,000 years and trump's don't last a day. i don't understand that. >> that's exactly true. i think what she's facing, now, too, the kids getting into the job world and voting for the first time now were not alive or barely born when everything went down in the 90s with clinton administration. >> larry: everything went down. what happened! >> i think they have an opportunity now to use this week to reintroduce her. i think chelsea will be a powerful, you know, advocate for her this week. i think she's going to be a little more, you know, genuine and warm. >> larry: what do you think is the most important part of the
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reintroduction? do you think it's the personal stories. or do you think it's things that she's accomplished that we don't know about? he brought up some things she had done or is it what happened in benghazi? >> i don't care about you reintroducing me to hillary clinton as a mother and this or that. i would hope that's what she's doing because that's what she is. i want to hear about policy. how are you going to affect change in my life in a positive direction? that's what i care about. we get too caught up-- i feel like we get too caught up in personalities. the thing i was most impressed about last night was the stuff i didn't know about. the eagle academy work that she did, that kind of stuff, the meeting with the mothers, that kind of stuff. that's what i care about. how are you going to talk about policy to help change people's situation. i don't care what you do on your off time? >> larry: i actually was impressed by the things did in her off time where she had
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written letters-- a kid grew up with exwarvism, and she hadn't his letters before his surgeries. she didn't have to do that. >> did she effect policy that helped pay for that surgery? that's what i care about tell me that. >> larry: she was involved in that sort of legislation in her whole career, actually. i mean, she has. >> i think that's what they need to push. >> unlike with donald trump, he found members outside of her immediate family willing to say nice things about her. >> larry: let me ask you the question-. ( cheers and applause ) will the historical part-- will the historical implications of hillary's possible presidency, will that pull more people who aren't necessarily hillary fans when push comes to shove? on voting day, people who aren't necessarily democrats, they don't know where they stand, will the historical part pull them in? do you think? do you think that will make a difference in the end?
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>> i think there are two complications with that. we've had the first black president already and the historical impression of african americans in the united states really overshadow that. and hillary clinton has positioned herself as a feminist icon but she's had to do some remarkably unfeminist things. she had to abide her husband's infidelities, and to trample a lot of women, particularly the ones her husband cheated on her with to get to where she is, and that makes her a very fraught figure, first woman president. >> larry: that one, i don't know. if somebody's-- >> you know how i feel. >> larry: robin. >> if somebody sleeps with my man i'm trampling over them, too. i know that's a 'ho right there. i don't care. >> people want her to be super human. it seems kind of crazy. i don't think people think woman when they think hillary clinton. i think they think clinton first and then they think woman. it's just hard. i hope that-- because i'm
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excited. if she wins i'll be excited. a woman president in america! that's crazy! too long! it's taken too long. >> larry: it has taken too long. >> you know, i just hate the fact that we even still bring up the infidelity. i wish we could ban it forever or fight fair with fair-- trump cheated on his first wife. hillary didn't cheat. she just stayed with her man and she gets ( bleep ) about it. >> larry: i agree. we'll be right back. robin, i agree! i agree!
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♪xfinity's where it's at. ♪ welcome to it all. comcast nbcuniversal is proud to bring you coverage of the rio olympic games. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: thanks to my panelists, mike yard, robin thede, and eliana johnson. thanks for watching. good nightly everyone! captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh >> from philadelphia where you probably won't get punched more than once, it's the 12016 democratic national convention. let's not get crazy. night two. every minority the cameras could
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find. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome, everyone, to the daily show. i'm trevor noah. so excited to have you. thank you so much. we're in philadelphia, people, we are in philly officially covering the democratic national convention. i'm so excited, our guest new york senator kirsten gillibrand is joining us, everybody. good time, good times! and speaking of excitement, is everyone excited about having the first female nominee for president? (cheers and applause). >> trevor: america's first female-- because i am. i am not going to lie, i am. yes. it's so great to be here when america takes these major steps forward. it's also exciting because it is a first. first anything are exciting, you know. yeah, first day of school, you know, first comment on instagram. first. first time you had sex. (applause). >> trevor: yeah, first time
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you had sex right. (laughter) the point s the point is, yesterday was a historic occasion. and now we're joined to celebrate that history with desi lydic, everybody. desi lydic. hello, desi. >> trevor, let me tell you something, in this country a lot of bars give women free drinks on tuesdays and call it ladies night. but last night was the real [bleep] ladies night. (cheers and applause) you realize before yesterday america had 131 male presidential nominees, 0 female nominees and 0 squirrel nominees. and after 240 years and 56 elections, women have finally edged out squirrels. (applause) look, i know hillary kept it low key and accepted the nomination by video because she's classy
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like that. but this was so huge. she deserved to ride in on a shooting star like katy perry at the super bowl! >> trevor: she really is a fire work, desi. an people must have been losing their [bleep] in the convention? >> yes, they still are! i wish i could stay in here forever because outside people are just kind of like oh, first female nominee, cool. hey, look, trump is doing an ama on reddit. >> trevor: i feel you there. i feel you, even some major american newspapers in fact used pictures of hillary's husband when talking about how she made history, or should i say hers-story. >> no, history is fine. but seriously, what the hell? this is a huge deal for this country. you know, every one talks about how advanced america is compared to the rest of the world. but we suck at having women in power. want to know who got here before us? pretty much everybody. argentina, germany, mongolia, liberia, [bleep] pakistan's already assassinated a female
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leader. might have gone a little too far down progress lane. there is a real [bleep] spot you want to stay in. >> trevor: desi, it is funny you say that because when obama won, even black people in africa were losing their [bleep] and he's only half african. >> yeah, exactly. trevor, hillary is full woman. plaws. >> god! and look, look, i know maybe some conservative women don't exactly feel like celebrating at hillary's victory. but you can hate hillary and still love what happened last night. (cheers and applause) >> yeah. because her victory and power-- empowers all women. even if you want to use that power to say that hillary planned benghazi from a secret e-mail server that she bought with goldman sax donations. you can do that. hillary busted through that glass ceiling and you can follow her through it. even if it is just to take her
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down. this is just really beautiful, when you think about it like that. >> trevor: it really is beautiful. an it's long overdue, men have been running the white house for a hundred year, they have screwed a lot of [bleep] up. >> yeah, and now it's time for women to screw some [bleep] up. >> trevor: des ir-- desi lydic, everyone, desi lydic. now after hillary clinton got enough votes to officially win the nomination the democrats spent most of the night impatiently waiting for bill clinton to show up. then they spent the rest of the night waiting for bill clinton to stop talking, no, i am kidding, it was a beautiful speech. >> those of us that have more yesterdays than tomorrows tend to care more about our children and grand children. the reason you should elect her is that in the greatest country on earth, we have always been about tomorrow, your children and grand children will bless you forever if you do. >> trevor: i just like there
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is some guy right now going my children and grand children will bless me forever, sounds nice but i already bought the hat. >> trevor: it was a really emotional night, it was a really beautiful, powerful, emotional night. i mean nothing could ruin it. i-- yes,-- look, there was-- one weird thing. >> if you were as energized as i was and am right now-- take out that phone, fire up that laptop, pry that ipad out of your kid's hands and go to hillary and give what you can. even $1 can make a difference. >> trevor: look, guys, i know you need funding to run a campaign, but you can't bring out movie stars to an arena named after a bank and have them ask the rest of us for the money. i mean come on! come on! you have some money. you have to admit, you have some
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money. mer ill streep is not staying at an airbnb, i know that. i'm not saying don't ask for money. but at least show me that you need it enough with the movie stars, why don't cut away to chuck sheumer in a garbage can or something, you know. the reason bernie raised $200 million was because bernie sanders looked like he owed someone $200 million. people saw that guy-- people saw that guy and everyone was like damn, damn, i got to help this dude out. i've got to-- i mean i have $27, is that enough? look, democrats, you should need zero dollars to win this race. because when you look at the two candidates side-by-side, it is embarrassing that this is even a contest. and i know, i know-- (applause). >> trevor: i know people will try and say oh, no, no, it's all about objectivity. yes, and any objective person can see that of the two optio


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